INSPIRED MONDAY: Disappointments and forgiveness

Ash didn't see any of these as her fault, buh no one was on her side. Buh then, no one was on her side didn't mean she had to be on their side. As a matter if fact, she didn't want their approval. Though they were are glued, she didn't need their approval. They've been together so long, and she was just amazed at how Sarah and Gab believed Mic over her. Who on earth was Mic to them compared to her? Nothing, absolutely nothing but a classmate. Ash had nothing to say to them, and even if she did,  they were not willing to listen.

If Ash told herself she wasn't hurt by their action, she knew she'd be trying to fool herself. She was used to it, and although she was used to it, it still hurt to be let down by people you consider close. Maybe it was because she didn't see it coming, maybe it was because she had chosen to see only the positive side of every situation. The type of person she used to be was the type to consider all possibilities in all situations, buh she had chosen happiness lately. She deserved to be happy, she didn't have much, buh she had enough to be thankful for. She didn't have too many friends, buh she had the friends she needed when she needed them, so why shouldn't she be happy? Besides, she was with the father of light that would never let her down.

Ash simply won't let herself break over Sarah and Gab. She did want to cry, buh how was she to explain that she wasn't crying over the both of them? Lately, she felt too sad and depressed. She'd walk alone, stomping her feet angrily as she did, she'd push the door open and close with unnecessary force, a frown on her face, buh as soon as someone called her name, Ash would raise her head with a smile. As soon as the person walked past her, she'd frown harder. Then Ash would remember who she was, she was on the side of light, and a daughter of light, she had every right to be happy, her father had given her every right to be.

Ash had learnt smiling, not necessarily for herself, rather, to help others. She had a beautiful smile and she knew it could brighten up a sad day for anyone, buh maybe not for her. Once on her sad day, she sat in front of the mirror and tried a smile, buh it didn't brighten her up, instead, it annoyed her more, and she wondered how others found her smile Charming and comforting.

Ash had initially always put disappointment at the back of her mind. As she grew older, she put it too far behind her mind, too far that she almost forgot that she could actually be disappointed by close friends at least. She knew there was a person who'd never disappoint her even when it seemed like it...

          ..."As for God, His way is perfect...He is a buckler to all those that trust in Him"

Whatever Ash would do was within her. One thing she knew was that if she planned to do sonething, she might end up not doing it except she says it with her mouth, because whatever a person says to do was a promise, and a promise is a debt, and Ash couldn't bear owing anyone, she was too proud for it.

If it was 4 years ago, if Ash had said she wouldn't ever speak with a person, she wouldn't because all she had to do was snub whoever it was. Ash didn't care about the society's thoughts of her, buh as she grew, she realised she had to. For her to be successful aright, as long as she was in the world, she needed the reference of people,  and so she couldn't afford to misrepresent herself.

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